At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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