your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
