So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
its not stalking. its research.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
