tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
