Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
