just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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