There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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