i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I AM VODKA MAN
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
