Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
