she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
