you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
