I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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