ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
