I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
