I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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