Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
