Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
