i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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