So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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