forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
