I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
