She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
