Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
