i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
