You work out of a Hotel?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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