dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
We got so high we made milksteak
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
