Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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