Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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