called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
