went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I need water and some morals
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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