u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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