is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
