how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
