i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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