it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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