One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
