I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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