you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
don't judge my taste in strippers
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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