I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
