You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
