Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
