What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
