And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
