Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
