either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
