Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
