So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
