I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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