Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
