My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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