He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
