White coat. Heels.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
