it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
