Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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